#13 resentment

Resenting someone is one of the least fun things in this world. At first you feel good, this person sucks and you’re not shying away from it. But then when things become about how much it sucks it has a negative effect on you – or well, me, in this case.

So I’mma write a letter. I’m ready to let this go once and for all and focus on more positive things. 

Dear Person I Resent,

I used to actually care about you once. You seemed like a decent person although arguably, I don’t know you, which is probably where the problem lies. However, you presented yourself as being a certain way and revealed yourself to be a shallow, narcissistic, self-involved, self-righteous prick (that’s the nice way of putting it). Not only was I disappointed in you, I was disappointed in myself for falling for it. For realising that actually, I was a shitty judge of character. I resented myself and you and if I’m going to let go of the former, I have to stop resenting you too. It’s not easy because you got me through many tough situations. The admiration and love I had for you kept me going when I felt like I had nothing. However, I am mature enough to realise that I was projecting and that got myself through those situations – not you. I don’t owe you anything, not my admiration and not my resentment. You don’t deserve  it and I don’t deserve it. So from today, I’m going to work on leaving it behind.

Maybe one day you will redeem yourself but for now, I suppose you’re just human. You have flaws and I maybe put you on to high of a pedestal – and 99% of the people you encounter are so desperate for your attention and time that they will never call you out on your bullshit. I will always call you out but I no longer care about what you say or do.

I’m letting all of this resentment go. You’re an asshole, but I don’t have the time or energy to give a fuck anymore.

Un-resentfully yours,

deathofthediary

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